After a breakup, most of us spend a lot of time thinking long and hard about what the other person did to cause it, rather than reflecting on ourselves. It seems self-evident that we want our romantic relationships to work, and that love and long-term commitment are our ultimate goals. But what if our desire for love is actually not as straightforward as our emotions make us believe? What if, instead of pursuing love, we are unconsciously pushing it away?

In Daring to Love, Tamsen and Robert W. Firestone offer techniques based in Robert Firestone’s groundbreaking voice therapy—the process of giving spoken word to unhealthy patterns—to help you understand how you are getting in your own way on the quest for true love. Love, the Firestones argue, makes us vulnerable and triggers old defenses we formed in childhood, causing us to sabotage our relationships in myriad subtle—and not-so-subtle—ways. Using the voice therapy strategies in this book, you will be able to identify your own defensive patterns and uncover the destructive messages your critical inner voice is telling you about yourself, your partners, and your relationships.

If you’re struggling to cultivate lasting relationships, this book can help you embark on your next romantic journey with more openness and self-knowledge.

Tamsen Firestone is founder and editor-in-chief of www.psychalive.org, an online mental health resource visited by millions of people each year. She has also been principal editor for many of the books written by her husband, author and clinical psychologist Robert W. Firestone. Among these are Fear of Intimacy, Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice, and Creating a Life of Meaning and Compassion. Her work, including the PsychAlive website, speaks to the general public and provides easy-to-understand, practical steps that a person can follow to apply her husband’s theories of human behavior in order to experience a more rewarding and fulfilling life. She lives in Santa Barbara, CA.