In conversation with Joy Fillman, PhD
When Diane Pomerantz, a psychologist, falls in love with Charles, a charming and brilliant psychiatrist, there is laughter and flowers and also darkness. After moving through infertility treatments and the trials of the adoption process as a united front, the couple is ultimately successful in creating a family. As time goes on, however, Charles becomes increasingly critical and controlling, and Diane begins to feel barraged and battered. When she is diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer, Charles is initially there for her, but his attentiveness quickly vanishes and is replaced by withdrawal, anger, and unfathomable sadism. What Diane previously thought were just Charles controlling ways are replaced by clear pathologic narcissism and emotional abuse that turns venomous at the very hour of her greatest need. A memoir and a psychological love story that is at times tender and at times horrifying, Lost in the Reflecting Pool is a chronicle of one woman's struggle to survive within and ultimately break free of a relationship with a man incapable of caring about anyone beyond himself.
Dr. Diane Pomerantz is a clinical psychologist who has been in practice working with children, adolescents, and adults in the Baltimore, Maryland area for over thirty-five years. She has done extensive work in the area of trauma and child abuse and research in the area of personality development of abused children. She currently runs Healing Through Writing groups in her practice. She is a breast cancer survivor and has two wonderful grown children. She and her shaggy dog, Rug, live amidst tall trees on the outskirts of Baltimore, Maryland.
Dr. Joy Fillman holds an M.A. in Developmental Psychology research and a PhD. in Clinical Psychology with focus on Attachment Theory, Object Relations, and Control Mastery Theory. She uses both degrees in her clinical work to understand and repair the impact of developmental traumas and interruptions, some of which stem from narcissistic injury at an early and sensitive developmental stage. Narcissism as an affliction inhibits attachment, intimacy, and successful separation individuation in childhood and adulthood and requires intensive psychotherapeutic intervention. Over her 35 years of private practice addressing all clinical repercussions of trauma, Dr Fillman has developed a theory of mind and relationship called Empathetic Detachment And Attunement.