"Most people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this book, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships--one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, "How to Be an Adult in Relationships " explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life:
1. " Attention" to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships.
2. " Acceptance" of ourselves and others just as we are.
3. " Appreciation" of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament.
4. " Affection" shown through holding and touching in respectful ways.
5. " Allowing" life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control.
When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts--what Richo calls the five A's--form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.
About the Author
David Richo, PhD, MFT, is a psychotherapist and teacher in Santa Barbara and San Francisco, California, who emphasizes Jungian, transpersonal, and spiritual perspectives in his work. He gives workshops across the country, some of which are available on CD.Visit davericho.com for a complete listing of workshops, books, and CDs.
Hendricks has been a pioneer in the field of mind-body integration for 30 years.
"Well-constructed and thought-provoking."—Spirituality & Health
"An inspiring and highly practical guide to effective relationships."—Kathlyn Hendricks, coauthor of Conscious Loving and The Conscious Heart